wow im rly having a hard time coping and my entire support system is hanging out w someone who doesn’t want to see me i rly regret opening my mouth and sharing my feelings

im gross and feel way to intensely and overreact and im aware of it but bad at coping with it and never sure if my emotions are legit and dont have the right drugs to fix it and want to hurt myself when its uncool to do so

i end up sobbing every time i try to deal with chase brexton its been almost three months now and so far they’ve ordered me a form of t that was long discontinued, forgotten to get prior authorization, gotten the same medication in a different dose rejected somehow, lied, put me off, illegally talked to my family members about my medical info and this is the GOOD trans health center in my area

im not sure how the week will go, but telling john how ive been feeling shit recently and hearing their response has made me feel so much better

the end of the semester seems like a good time to relive some serious rape trauma ive been pushing down for yrs

thank you to all my friends who knowingly or unknowingly have been supporting me recently. im struggling and i appreciate ur company and presence

i need to stop flirting with relapse

i sometimes wish i just had a flat chest but working to normalize and desexualize, in my own mind, my boobs is a pretty close second

sometimes im rly oversensitive i think and that bugs me

ah, i am so madly in love